Category Archives: Uncategorized

I think therefore I’m wrong

You are wrong.

Yes, I said that. I will also say that Donald Trump has some good ideas while Bernie Sanders has some bad ideas.

Wes Craven made a bad movie or two.

You can’t expect to be right all of the time and your ideas can’t always be ideal. Sometimes you just have to deal with the fact that Donald Trump isn’t a complete moron 24/7.

I have an opinion. I have a thought. I have a dream. I have a monkey. I have a need to come back. I have a fear of coming back. I have anger issues. I have, therefore I am.

#depressionlies

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Aint’ Nobody Got Time for Taht

Locally Grown, Small-Farmed Produce Can be Nearly Orgasmic*

*my experience may not be typical

Would you like some oranges? No? You might reconsider.

Some friends of mine gave me some oranges from the tree in their yard. The oranges weren’t the perfect, beautiful specimens that you see in the grocery store, but that didn’t matter. As I started peeling the first one, juice sprayed everywhere. These were the juiciest oranges that I have ever had in my life. But was it just from peeling them? Nope. Eating these oranges was almost an orgasmic experience. I was addicted from the first one, as if these oranges came from the original tree from a mythical garden.

Want some oranges now? I thought so. This experience has taught me a new lesson about the ugly duckling as well as the benefit of buying local, small-farmed fruits and vegetables. These oranges were not the prettiest, but they were the best in every other aspect. I would pay a dollar each to have more of these oranges, which my friends scoffed at as they handed me more, free of charge.

But knowing me, you know that nothing is truly free of charge. No product or service can be free. So how did I repay them? Well, I started with thank you and moved on to buying one of them a drink while tipping the other (he was the bartender that night).

But Jason had the best idea. He took the oranges and made an orange cake. Now remember, I don’t like cake. I find it boring. Cupcakes are great, but cakes in general just don’t appeal to me. This orange cake that Jason made for the Victorian Garden party was beyond any cake, though. This cake, made with locally grown and small-farmed oranges from our friends, was indecently delicious. I could eat that cake every day.

The moral? I don’t really have one; but, if you need a moral for every story, think about this: buying locally grown fruits cuts back on the pollution in the world, while supporting people in your area and helping your city/state. Buying locally grown fruit gives you a chance to see where the fruit comes from (well, if you go to the place instead of a farmer’s market. Locally grown fruit isn’t put through the rigorousness needed to ensure “perfect looking fruit”. Therefore, if you can afford it, you need to spend the extra few bucks on your fruits and vegetables and get them locally. You will get a superior product that is healthier for you and the world around us.

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Newt Gingrich Explains Why Marriage Equality Should Be Legal (without meaning to)

On January 25th, Newt Gingrich held a conference call for some of his religious supporters. During the call, Newt was explaining why the Religious Right should be supporting him for President. Interestingly enough, Newt brought up an idea that I had years ago about marriage equality, but I have neither the money nor the connections to pursue this idea. The following is a quote from that call.

It’s pretty simple: marriage is between a man and a woman. This is a historic doctrine driven deep into the Bible, both in the Old Testament and in the New Testament, and it’s a perfect example of what I mean by the rise of paganism. The effort to create alternatives to marriage between a man and a woman are perfectly natural pagan behaviors, but they are a fundamental violation of our civilization.

You may have stopped reading that quote during the first or second sentence. If you did, please go back and read the entire quote. Believe me, it will be worth the bile that forms whenever you think of Newt talking about marriage rights. Go on. Read the whole quote. Continue reading

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Joey’s Birthday Cake

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My friend Joey had a birthday last night and this was his cake. I am totally thinking about getting this as a tattoo.

Defining the New: Out

Out

(according to dictionary.com)

adverb

1. away from, or not in, the normal or usual place, position, state, etc.: out of alphabetical order; to go out to dinner.
2. away from one’s home, country, work, etc., as specified: to go out of town.
3. in or into the outdoors: to go out for a walk.
4. to a state of exhaustion, extinction, or depletion: to pump a well out.
5. to the end or conclusion; to a final decision or resolution: to say it all out.
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Defining the New: Wyrd

Wyrd

(according to dictionary.com)

noun
1. fate personified

2. any one of the three Weird Sisters

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