Below is a question from Ask the Expert on 365gay.com. The question is a really good question. The answer, for the most part, is really good as well. I disagree with his assertion when it comes to fantasizing about someone of the same gender, but then again, I tend to believe pretty firmly in Kinsey’s 7 degrees of sexuality. In other versions of this scale, levels 1-5 are listed as degrees of bisexuality, but all of the scales that I found are this new one.
What do you believe? Click the link to read the question and then follow the source to read the answer. I would love to hear your views on this.
Question: I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible because I don’t want to ramble. I’m a man and just got out of a relationship of 11 years with a woman (we have an 18-month-old child as well).
For 15 years, I have dressed in drag, though the only times I’ve been really out like that in public are two Halloweens – the rest was indoors. I’ve… done certain things sexually to myself while in drag. First just touching myself, then playing with vibrators, then getting off to videos and photos of men; all of this was an extremely slow progression over a number of years.
Every time I would perform one of the above actions, I would act like nothing happened afterward. I’ve been flip-flopping terribly and it’s getting worse – I think, ”I’m gay,” then “I’m not gay,” or even “I’m bisexual.” “ No, this is just brought on from my crossdressing fetish.” Back and forth, constantly.
My sex life with my now-ex wasn’t all that bad. And the thing that bothers me is that any homosexual fantasies I had happened when I was in drag. But here’s the kicker: I have played with the vibrator out of drag and found it just as enjoyable.
Hopefully I’ve made my story fairly clear. I can’t tell if I’m rambling too muc,h so I will end my question with this: Is there a real and actual feeling I’m fighting against? Am I gay? Or is my situation similar to King Pentheus, who was driven mad by Dionysus after wearing a woman’s dress?